Okay, we already know our little furry friend Mukmuk (old post here). He’s being denied his rightful mascot status and all the glory, merchandise and plush animals that come along with it. So, here’s how you create your own Mukmuk.
Step 1: Adopt a Marmot from the Vancouver Island Marmot Conservancy Folks. Or receive it as a present from your sister.
Step 2: Receive Mukmuk hat and foam finger as a gift
Step 3: Combine Steps 1 & 2!
Okay, he’s a baby marmot. So by 2010 he’ll no doubt grow into his hat. You can also have him wear it as a blanket/boot so he stays warm during the winter and doesn’t go into hibernation on you.
Being a good American and with access to a blog (see new year’s resolutions #1, “me, me, me”) I feel like it is my civic duty to be blogging about Obama and Huckabee in a state known for its smiley faced water towers
But instead we’re going to hit two issues and loves of my life at once:
2) Taser related deaths
I give you the latest and greatest (and arguably most distaste-est) in the Vancouver Taser Incident:
When the Revolution come I’m gonna be up front
With my finga on the trigga of a Mossburgh Pump
When the Revolution come I’m gonna be right there
With my nine in my hand and braids in my hair
Yes folks, I am of the firm belief that the gifted lyricist Coolio wrote this song for one purpose and one purpose only…to ready me for the coming battle.
For those few of you who may not know what I’m referring to, let me fill you in. I am talking about an injustice of monumental proportions, an event which has shaken the very foundations of our society.
That’s right, I am talking about “MukMukGate.” What is this, you ask? We’ll, for those of you living under a rock, this all began with the Vancouver Olympic Organizing Committee announcing their cast of mascots for the 2010. You can get the details here, but basically it boils down to a cast of three make believe creatures (a Sasquatch, thunder bird, and sea bear).
Now, if you visit the mascot site, you will notice this cute and cuddly little critter:
Yes, this adorable creature is MukMuk the Marmot. A REAL animal from Vancouver. So is MukMuk another mascot? No, this poor little guy has been relegated to “sidekick” status. A SIDEKICK. This is an outrage, nay, a crime against humanity!
Am I the only one who is upset about this? Of course not. Others who have been following this emerging issue are equally incensed. Here’s what some have to say:
Vancouver Sun Letter
How did this come to pass? Who is responsible for this? I have two theories:
1) An anti-marmot smear campaign orchestrated by the Vancouver wing of the Black Squirrels of Victoria Park
or, 2) Blatant Marmotism – it’s a well known fact that marmots have been persecuted throughout history (The Marmot Crusades, the internment of Marmots during WWII, etc.) and I think this is just the most recent example of this.
So, let us join Coolio, braid our hair, grab our shotguns, and start the MukMuk Revolution!
mukmukmukmukmukmukmukmukmukmukmukmukmukmukmukmukmukmukmukmukmukmukmukmuk mukmukmukmukmukmukmukmukmukmukmukmuk mukmukmukmukmukmukmukmukmukmukmukmuk mukmukmukmukmukmukmukmukmukmukmukmuk mukmukmukmukmukmukmukmukmukmukmukmuk mukmukmukmukmukmukmukmukmukmukmukmuk mukmukmukmukmukmukmukmukmukmukmukmuk