Tag Archive | Michigan

Michigan Playing Ping-Pong with Public Health

It’s been roughy a decade since the effort to ban smoking in Michigan’s places of business has begun. Now, it seems that the state’s Senators and Representatives have finally been given the cash vision to see that banning smoking will not harm businesses and could actually be good for the economy in both he short and long term. In fact, both branches of government have already passed bills to ban smoking and Governor Granholm seems poised to sign a smoking ban into effect.

So…….what’s the hold up?

Apparently, the Senate and the House can’t seem to agree on some of the finer details of the bill. While the Senate passed a straight ban across the board, the House feels that a gentler, semi-ban would be more appropriate. Their version includes exempions for casinos, tobacco shops, casinos, cigar bars, casinos, bingo halls, casinos, horse tracks, and casinos. It’s fairly obvious that the states bingo halls have gained enough wealth and influence to lobby the House into stalemating this bill for as long as possible.

And so the match continues. The Senate passes one version and sends it over to the House. The House changes it, passes it and sends it back to the Senate. In the meantime, Michigan is at risk of losing her chance to show her progressive nature by becoming only the 35th state to pass a full/partial ban on smoking.

Thanks a lot checks and balances.

Uncommitted! Uncommitted!

So the Michigan Primary was last night. Hardly any democrats participated because of a spat of controversy when Michigan tried to move up its primary to compete with Iowa and New Hampshire. (A completely idiotic post I’m too lazy to write about)

So basically only five names were on the ballot. One you know, one you should know, and three scrubs.

The Results were

  • Person A: 55%
  • Person B: 40%
  • Person C: 4%
  • Person D: 1%
  • Person E: 0%

Now, match the following names to the results: Hillary Clinton, Chris Dodd, Mike Gravel, Denis Kucinich and Uncommitted.

Any guesses?

  • Clinton: 55%
  • Uncommitted: 40%
  • Kucinich: 4%
  • Dodd: 1%
  • Gravel: 0%

That’s right, Hillary really laid a whooping on an imaginary person. I don’t know if this says more for Hillary, less for Kucinich, or boatloads about the Michigan Voter. You decide!

Representative Poopy Pants (D-MI)

That’s right, apparently its far more important that our State Representatives in Michigan tackle the big issues, like the budget, health care, and crapping your pants in public.

HB 5046 enables those with Irritable Bowel Syndrome or Crohn’s disease (but not duodenitis) access to a bathroom at a retailer, when one is not available to the public.

So all of your card carrying IBS-ers, make sure you always have your prescription handy when shopping for your ChristMAS goodies, otherwise, the retailer doesn’t have to let you in.

There’s also a loophole to allow for those with either a) a bun in the oven or b) have present an ostomy device. So maybe some of you who are fat (but not pregnant) can lie your way into the exclusive club behind the sealed doors at Walgreen’s to drop some kids off at the pool. Or if you’re willing to carry around an ostomy bag. I’m willing to bet if anyone started waving around their ostomy bag before the passage of HB5046, any employee would quickly show you the way to the loo.

Of note, the sponsor of the bill Andy Meisner (D-Ferndale) came and spoke at my high school in 1999. I passed a note to a student and called him a nerd. Rep Meisner found the note, and apparently was upset. So Representative Meisner, I’m the asshat.

%d bloggers like this: