Public Service Announcement #4
To the young woman crossing Broadway Ave. just east of Yonge St.:
Please note that if I ever come across you using the letters “O – M – G” in a sentence in the place of “oh my god” or even “oh my gawd” I will be forced to report you to the province, which will then perform a court ordered hysterectomy on you in order to ensure that your obviously flawed DNA will not be passed on to future generations.
To all others who might consider using texting shorthand in your speech, this serves as a general warning. These abbreviations shouldn’t have a place in text, let alone speech. If I catch you saying “L – O – L” instead of actually, well, laughing, the same sterilization awaits you.