Too Lazy to Play Real Beer Pong?


Some days, its just too much to get out the old slab of particle board, two saw horses, and a handful of solo cups. For those days, the fine people at JV Games bring you Beer Pong….er Pong Toss. Like all good sissy nannies, certain adults and Attorney Generals are up in arms over a game that evolved from drinking is rated suitable for children 13 and up.

1) Are kids really clamoring to waste their money on a game as simple as throwing a ball in a cup? If so, I’m going to make paper triangle football game.

2) Does GTA encourage kids to shoot people? Does Grand Turismo encourage kids to drive? Does MLB ’08 The Show encourage kids to play baseball? Granted, as a kid I really did wish there was a Candyland for me to play in, but there’s not.

3) Hey parents, don’t like the rating for the game? Don’t buy it for your kid, don’t let him buy it, and if you see him playing, actually try being a parent and ground the lil’ fucktard.

4) JV Games people, if you’re going to pull the “no really, its a legitimate game without booze” line, you might want to consider removing “Frat Party Games” from the title. I can’t wait to see what’s the next installment, “Vomit in the Shower” or “Dance Dance Revolution Wearing a Lampshade”.

5) As for me, I’m concerned for my legal drinking age friends. As mentioned previously, if you’re too lazy to set up a game of Beer Pong, and can only manage to turn on the Wii, you sir, do not deserve to be a drinking.


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6 responses to “Too Lazy to Play Real Beer Pong?”

  1. Ben says :

    Crap…does this mean I have to return your Christmas present now?

    I dispute your assertion that playing video games won’t make you do things. My proof is that after long hours of playing Toejam n’ Earl, I had an irresistible urge to get run over by a Phantom Ice Cream Truck.

  2. OneNewsNow says :

    We want a new post. Mainly just to censor it, but c’mon, we want a new post.

  3. Lachlan says :

    We used to play a similar game in Australia, except instead of solo cups we used store front windows, and instead of ping pong balls we used manhole covers. We used to call it “shit here comes the cops”. Except all the beer was usually drunk well before the game began.

  4. jimsey says :


    How do you know who or when you won? When you wake up the next morning not in jail?

  5. Lachlan says :

    If a game of “shit here come the cops” broke out, you’d pretty much already lost. But winning wasn’t the object….it was the game itself that was important.

  6. garyrussell says :

    show me how to do.. yeah show me how to grove it…
    my name is gary russelll and i know hot to do it…
    i do it all the time
    i said this world is mine…
    i dip so much they should give me a fine.
    i eat so much when i dine.
    you look like a swine
    your cheap as a dime
    and as soft as swinge.

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