From the “Dumbshit” File

Just a little absurdity to lighten your day. It seems some residents of Toronto’s Parkdale neighbourhood are up in arms because a city work crew began tearing up grass yesterday at a local park to build…

Here are some options to choose from. Which are the protesters upset over?

A) A nuclear waste storage facility

B) Cap’n ‘Splosion’s Terrorist Training Camp

C) A Wal Mart

D) Krazy Bob’s Handgun n’ Rocket Launcher Emporium

E) A swing set

So, clearly, A – D are worth raising a stink over, but if you guessed E you’d be correct!

A handful of residents organized a flash protest when a city crew peeled back some grass to begin installing a swing set at the park. A SWING SET. According to local residents Robert Arnold and Peter Manek, swing sets equal crime magnets:

The swings would take up the last bit of open green space, said Arnold and Manek, who argued it would offer criminals an excuse to hang around the area and engage in drug deals.

Yes, I can see it now:

Thug 1: “Hey, can you give me a push on this swing before I go sling my crack?”

Thug 2: “Okay, but be careful, I don’t want you going too high!”

What do you do with something like this but mock? Anyway, check out the full story here.


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4 responses to “From the “Dumbshit” File”

  1. jimsey says :

    Reminds me of some of the “complaints” about Ferndale’s bike lanes. That they would serve as a corridor for drug trafficking.

    I’m not joking here.

  2. Annette says :

    I better check the swingset in my backyard for these crack dealers! I’ll have to talk to Pat about removing it. I never knew they were so dangerous.

  3. Lachlan says :

    I think they have a good point. I have recently taken up selling drugs, and swing sets are my preferred locale. I don’t go anywhere near junge gyms though. So if I were tosee a new swing set built, I would begin plying my trade there immediately.

  4. rsulli03 says :

    If they even consider installing a purple hippo on a spring, I’m breaking it.

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