Public Service Announcement #3
Attention new parents: Nobody wants to hear about how tough it is having a baby around.
I’ve been surrounded by new parents lately and everyone one of them just loves to tell me how little sleep they’ve had, how little Timmy’s rash is doing, or all about Susie’s diarrhea.
The cold, hard truth is that every non-parent couldn’t care less. What do we think while you’re telling us this? We think: “Why is this person complaining about their child with the same emotion as a Barack Obama speech? If they are so tired, why are they still talking about diapers? Maybe if I stick my pen in my eye they’ll leave me alone…”
New parents will get absolutely no sympathy from me.
Nobody forced you to procreate – and unless Junior was a “mistake,” you planned on having this sprog. So please, if you want to commiserate about how tough your life is as a direct result of a decision you consciously made, please do it out of earshot of me.