Representative Poopy Pants (D-MI)

That’s right, apparently its far more important that our State Representatives in Michigan tackle the big issues, like the budget, health care, and crapping your pants in public.

HB 5046 enables those with Irritable Bowel Syndrome or Crohn’s disease (but not duodenitis) access to a bathroom at a retailer, when one is not available to the public.

So all of your card carrying IBS-ers, make sure you always have your prescription handy when shopping for your ChristMAS goodies, otherwise, the retailer doesn’t have to let you in.

There’s also a loophole to allow for those with either a) a bun in the oven or b) have present an ostomy device. So maybe some of you who are fat (but not pregnant) can lie your way into the exclusive club behind the sealed doors at Walgreen’s to drop some kids off at the pool. Or if you’re willing to carry around an ostomy bag. I’m willing to bet if anyone started waving around their ostomy bag before the passage of HB5046, any employee would quickly show you the way to the loo.

Of note, the sponsor of the bill Andy Meisner (D-Ferndale) came and spoke at my high school in 1999. I passed a note to a student and called him a nerd. Rep Meisner found the note, and apparently was upset. So Representative Meisner, I’m the asshat.

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About jimsey

biography'D! visit here: http://www.urbanohio.com

6 responses to “Representative Poopy Pants (D-MI)”

  1. Mike Duodenum says :

    I think I’ll be visiting Mr. Meisner’s office and fighting for us duodenitis patients!!!! I smell discrimination…or did I just poop myself? Oh well.

  2. Ben says :

    Hey, abolishing slavery, women’s suffarage, civil rigths, now this – all worthy struggles! Fight the good fight, Mikey.

  3. sassifer says :

    Wow… LOL!

    Also – Yes you can use me as a guinea pig! My mother is doing it.. my friends are doing it.. why not you! The more the merrier!!! ^_^ lawl

  4. runr53 says :

    Hey Ben! Mark said to come say hi! Hi! Couldn’t handle the cold in Detroit any longer and had to see if going to a place that is colder would be better??? Let me know how that works out for you, hehe! I’m in Westland so if you need to hear from the home state, let me know! Welcome to Blog land!

  5. Kristin says :

    While I am not personally from Michigan, I do have several friends from Michigan with both Crohn’s disease and an ostomy. I’m quite positive they feel HB 5046 is important legislation.

  6. jimsey says :

    Kristin,

    1) You’re right, the point of this post was to totally make fun of people with conditions affecting their bowel movements.

    2) You Probably also read Burgess’ A Clockwork Orange and had serious concerns about Dim and the quality of education in Clockwork’s universe.

    3) Seriously, who does a search in the blogosphere for ostomy bags?

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