Representative Poopy Pants (D-MI)
That’s right, apparently its far more important that our State Representatives in Michigan tackle the big issues, like the budget, health care, and crapping your pants in public.
HB 5046 enables those with Irritable Bowel Syndrome or Crohn’s disease (but not duodenitis) access to a bathroom at a retailer, when one is not available to the public.
So all of your card carrying IBS-ers, make sure you always have your prescription handy when shopping for your ChristMAS goodies, otherwise, the retailer doesn’t have to let you in.
There’s also a loophole to allow for those with either a) a bun in the oven or b) have present an ostomy device. So maybe some of you who are fat (but not pregnant) can lie your way into the exclusive club behind the sealed doors at Walgreen’s to drop some kids off at the pool. Or if you’re willing to carry around an ostomy bag. I’m willing to bet if anyone started waving around their ostomy bag before the passage of HB5046, any employee would quickly show you the way to the loo.
Of note, the sponsor of the bill Andy Meisner (D-Ferndale) came and spoke at my high school in 1999. I passed a note to a student and called him a nerd. Rep Meisner found the note, and apparently was upset. So Representative Meisner, I’m the asshat.