Stuff white people like

When I first came across this blog I thought it was serious.  And like any good satire it took a while to figure it out.

I’m especially fond of the posts on recycling and expensive sandwiches.

It’s funny cause it’s true.

Tickle the monkey

First off, I’m very excited that Cartoon Network is bringing Mr. Men to the little screen.  Yes, those cutesy little characters we all knew from elementary school will now be walking and talking.

I’m only excited about this because I’m a proud owner of a Mr. Bump shirt.  And I’m a proud owner because when I laugh, it makes Mr. Bump dance on my belly.  You get the idea.  And of course Mr. Bump is my on-line representation.

Anyway, in checking out the new Mr. Men website, I game across this game for our good friend Mr. Tickle. 

To get to it go here, click on Mr. Tickle (bottom row, left side), then click on “Game.”  (BTW, I hate how all this new flash stuff doesn’t have direct links)

Anyway, the object of the Mr. Tickle game is to…yes…tickle the monkey.  You have to tickle the monkey so much that he, cough, explodes.  Okay, really, I don’t make this stuff up.

Where are all those conservative Senators now?  Forget Tinky Winky, this is downright criminal!

So, in the words of Mr. Tickle, “I know a monkey who needs a tickle.”

A canburger?

Those crazy Germans…first Hitler, then Neuschawbenland, and now…a canned cheeseburger.

Oh boy, I can hardly wait to sink my teeth into that thick, juicy patty, crisp lettuce, and succulent processed cheese…and look at that fluffy bun!

 

Now, my Deutsch is a bit rusty, but if I’m reading the website correctly this is a meal targeted towards backpackers.  I’ve done my share of week long backpacking trips, and I must admit I’ve craved a big cheeseburger at the end of many, but this just seems…wrong.

I mean, questionable ingredients and nutritional issues aside, is one supposed to eat this cold or heat it over your camp stove?  How does that lettuce stay crisp - varnish? How does that burger fit in the can, which is clearly smaller? And who on earth puts a cucumber slice on a burger in lieu of a pickle?

If that damn Euro wasn’t so strong, though…

I was tipped to this here, plus you get to see photos of one being uncanned.  Mmmm.

Top Fifty Atheist T-Shirt and Bumper Sticker Aphorisms

Mom, I apologize…I just couldn’t resist!

There is a more serious side to this, as well…check out the link for the number one aphorism. Ben Co. giveth you laughter, and Ben Co. taketh your laughter away.

Besides, some of these are pretty friggin’ hilarious. Thanks to “Why, That’s Delightful!” for the tip.

1. Abstinence Makes the Church Grow Fondlers
2. Honk If Your Religious Beliefs Make You An Asshole
3. Intelligent Design Makes My Monkey Cry
4. Too Stupid to Understand Science? Try Religion.
5. There’s A REASON Why Atheists Don’t Fly Planes Into Buildings
6. “Worship Me or I Will Torture You Forever. Have a Nice Day.”­ God.
7. God Doesn’t Kill People. People Who Believe in God Kill People.
8. If There is No God, Then What Makes the Next Kleenex Pop Up?
9. He’s Dead.
   It’s Been 2,000 years.
   He’s Not Coming Back.
   Get OVER It Already!
10. All religion is simply evolved out of fraud, fear, greed, imagination, and poetry. Edgar Allen Poe.

New U.S. Coins

 

It has just been announced that the United States will be issuing new coins with the goal of highlighting significant achievements over the last few years.  More details can be found in the video.

You Tube yanked the video, but you can now find it here.

Alberta’s New Licence Plate

So the Government of Alberta is looking at revamping Alberta’s beloved “Wild Rose Country” licence plate and is asking the public for input.

Being the good pseudo-Albertan that I am I thought I would chip in. Here are some possible plates that I think really capture what Alberta is all about.

1. Might as well just say what everyone here thinks. Oh,wait, they say this.

2. Would be a nice alternate to the environment one.

Silly Searches, Vol. 1

Well, Ben Co. has been around long enough now for me to release the first volume of bizarre and/or amusing search terms that have directed people to my fair blog.  Enjoy!

1. “sugar” - Not funny in itself, but I think of some poor grandma in Hopkins, MN who is looking for information.  Cut to a horrifying scene in the ER as she is treated for cardiac arrest after finding Ben Co.
2. “how to make an evil lair” - there are lots of variations on this one.  I want to meet this person, though, and get on his good side before he finds that volcano.
3. “flying cars” - this just makes me giggle.
4. “kids can’t read cartoon” - I’m not sure if this is a statement or a question.
5. “eating chocolate pics” - I’m a very open guy in all aspects of life, but if this is some weird fetish, I sure haven’t heard about it.  I just hope they really mean chocolate.
6. “forbid cartoons” - Maybe the same person as #4?  I’m seeing a real puritanical streak, here.  He’s not invited to any of my parties.
7. “i want to leave edmonton” - Hard to argue with this.
8. “Just do me”- Well…we do aim to please at Ben Co.  I can’t for the life of me figure out what on the blog pointed that term here.
9. “poeple ben killed” - Whoa.  Time to move again.
10. “mukmuk”- It makes me happy to know there is at least one other person besides Jimsey and I who get a kick out of MukMuk.
11. “ben elling” - I’m freakin’ famous!
12. “aqua velva” - Who searches for this?  Honestly?
13. “gay ben 10″- Hey!  And there’s variations on this…hmm.
14. “overweight cops use tasers”- I’ve gotten tons of hits for Taser related stuff, but this one was funny.
15. “original waffle”- que? No entiendo.
16. “MR BUMP”- tee hee.
17. And my personal favourite? 
    A tie between “IBS humor” and “colostomy bag” - I fully appreciate someone who can laugh at Irritable Bowl Syndrome, but I feel for the poor schlub who needs the colostomy bag.

The softer side of 50 Cent

“I walk around my prostitute garden…” - ‘Nuf said.