About Ben Co.

Formed in 1980 through the merger of Rich Co. and Sandy Co., Ben Co. is an international corporation which seeks to provide a high rate of return on sarcasm,  inane facts and general tomfoolery.

Ben Co.’s CEO, CFO, President, Vice President, Assistant Vice President, and Janitor Ben Elling has been leading Ben Co. to phenomenal heights for the past 26 years, and looks forward to at least another 60 years of unopposed leadership. HR services are outsourced to Gwen Co.

A recent partnership with James Co. promises to expand Ben Co. to previously unattainable readership levels of 10 or 12 people a day!

If you wish to buy stock in Ben Co., please know that it does not trade on the regular markets. Instead, please send me a non-descript envelope stuffed with unmarked bills. And yes, I can be bought.

Mr. Bump!

“Ben Co. - Better Business Through Mr. Bump!”

10 Responses to “About Ben Co.”

  1. Annette Says:
    October 4, 2007 at 1:39 pm

    Doesn’t Gwen have any position in this Ben Co. thing? What about the cats, where do they fit in?

  2. jimsey Says:
    October 9, 2007 at 4:37 pm

    does this mean I’m a shareholder?

  3. Ben Says:
    October 9, 2007 at 8:12 pm

    Yes, now you own 49% of the company…no hostile takeovers!

  4. jimsey Says:
    December 11, 2007 at 1:14 pm

    I’m having concerns about my ROI with this investment. What is the pay of the CEO? I feel like he is keeping this website down.

  5. Ben Says:
    December 11, 2007 at 1:18 pm

    If you let this issue drop I will pay you twice what I make.

  6. jimsey Says:
    December 11, 2007 at 11:04 pm

    golden parachutes for everyone!

  7. Sandy Says:
    December 17, 2007 at 10:32 am

    Since I am the one “who birthed” you I certainly should be a major stockholder or at least on the Board of Directors with all the privileges that go with the position!

  8. Ben Says:
    December 17, 2007 at 10:37 am

    My goodness, running this company has been more of a headache than I bargained for! Fine, mom, you and Jimmy get to split a 48% share, and Indy gets 1%.

  9. Lachlan Says:
    December 17, 2007 at 1:00 pm

    If you don’t want those photos released to the public, you’ll kick a little percentage back my way.

  10. Ben Says:
    December 17, 2007 at 1:04 pm

    You can’t prove that was me with that donkey, my…I mean, whoever that was, the face is blurry. Yeah.

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