Jazzin’ on Jefferson

Just wanted to give a little blog love for an upcoming event in downtown Detroit this weekend: Jazzin’ on Jefferson.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with the event (you poor souls, you), Jazzin’ on Jefferson is a two-day musical extravaganza that takes place on Detroit’s east side along Jefferson Ave. The event is produced by the Jefferson East Business Association and draws big jazz acts and a wide range of artists every year. Jazzin’ provides a chance for the community to celebrate its rich heritage and show all it has to offer to visitors.

This years acts include the Rayse Biggs Band, Jesse Palter Quartet, and the The Scott Gwinell Jazz Orchestra. New to Jazzin’ this year is the Artist Gallery tent, which will bring the works of local artists and crafts-persons together to exhibit and sell their creations.

If you’re in the Detroit metro area this weekend be sure to stop by Jazzin’ on Jefferson. If you’re really lucky you’ll get to meet me…and honestly that’s worth visiting all by itself.

If you can’t make it, check out JEBA and all the great work they do in the area. If you are Uncle Moneybags, look at supporting them.

Oh yeah, in the interest of full disclosure, my brother, Josh Elling, is the Executive Director of JEBA, but I was neither coerced nor bribed into doing this. If someone were to offer me an icy cold beer, however, I would not decline.

Pray At the Pump

Let me start by saying that I’m very smug. My daily commute is a 2 minute walk door to door. I use my car out of convenience. Now another Ben Co. member has already abandoned his car and is joining the smug parade. When I read articles about gas prices, I feel even smugger (smugier?)

Now I’m not an economist, but I know supply and demand. Supply is stagnant, and demand is up, up, up.

I’m more evolved than you

If there’s one thing I love, its random studies/theories and how I can pick and choose which ones to believe and lead me in self-justifying my pious life. It helps me get to sleep at night.

Some oldies but goodies include 1) the fact that standing next to a road is worse for you than second hand smoke and 2) copy machines can cause chronic conditions and should carry a warning label.

Well my new favorite one is from Neurophysiologist Katherine Rankin at the University of California, San Francisco.

According to Dr. Rankin, if you [don't] get sarcastic tone[s]… you must have some damage to your parahippocampal gyrus which is located in the right brain. People with dementia, or head injuries in that area, often lose the ability to pick up on sarcasm, and so they don’t respond in a socially appropriate ways.

Presumably, this is a pathology, which in turn suggests that sarcasm is part of human nature and probably an evolutionarily good thing

Okay, it may be a stretch for some of you to believe that I’m more evolved than the rest of you, but sarcasm has developed over years, and more specifically the ability to “get it”. If you don’t get it, you might just stare at me slack-jawed, or want to punch me in the face. Well to that I respond, you don’t have dimentia do you? Does your parahippocampal gyrus hurt?

From the “Dumbshit” File

Just a little absurdity to lighten your day. It seems some residents of Toronto’s Parkdale neighbourhood are up in arms because a city work crew began tearing up grass yesterday at a local park to build…

Here are some options to choose from. Which are the protesters upset over?

A) A nuclear waste storage facility

B) Cap’n ‘Splosion’s Terrorist Training Camp

C) A Wal Mart

D) Krazy Bob’s Handgun n’ Rocket Launcher Emporium

E) A swing set

So, clearly, A - D are worth raising a stink over, but if you guessed E you’d be correct!

A handful of residents organized a flash protest when a city crew peeled back some grass to begin installing a swing set at the park. A SWING SET. According to local residents Robert Arnold and Peter Manek, swing sets equal crime magnets:

The swings would take up the last bit of open green space, said Arnold and Manek, who argued it would offer criminals an excuse to hang around the area and engage in drug deals.

Yes, I can see it now:

Thug 1: “Hey, can you give me a push on this swing before I go sling my crack?”

Thug 2: “Okay, but be careful, I don’t want you going too high!”

What do you do with something like this but mock? Anyway, check out the full story here.

Michigan Playing Ping-Pong with Public Health

It’s been roughy a decade since the effort to ban smoking in Michigan’s places of business has begun. Now, it seems that the state’s Senators and Representatives have finally been given the cash vision to see that banning smoking will not harm businesses and could actually be good for the economy in both he short and long term. In fact, both branches of government have already passed bills to ban smoking and Governor Granholm seems poised to sign a smoking ban into effect.

So…….what’s the hold up?

Apparently, the Senate and the House can’t seem to agree on some of the finer details of the bill. While the Senate passed a straight ban across the board, the House feels that a gentler, semi-ban would be more appropriate. Their version includes exempions for casinos, tobacco shops, casinos, cigar bars, casinos, bingo halls, casinos, horse tracks, and casinos. It’s fairly obvious that the states bingo halls have gained enough wealth and influence to lobby the House into stalemating this bill for as long as possible.

And so the match continues. The Senate passes one version and sends it over to the House. The House changes it, passes it and sends it back to the Senate. In the meantime, Michigan is at risk of losing her chance to show her progressive nature by becoming only the 35th state to pass a full/partial ban on smoking.

Thanks a lot checks and balances.

The Car Free Experiment

You heard that right, most of North America, Gwen and I have now joined the ranks of the car-less. Not careless, mind you. We still care. Lots.

We just ditched our 2004 Ford Escape in favour of, well, nothing. This comes as a surprise to many people I’ve talked to, especially, for some reason, to the dealership we were dealing with…here’s the phone conversation I had:

Ran, Fatty, Ran

So…gasp…I…huff, puff…actually managed…wheeze…cough…to complete the 5 km Rat Race I shamelessly begged for donations for a while back.

This was the first real “race” I’ve been in (I can’t call it a real “real” race since it was for charity and whatnot, but it was as real as I’ve done), and I was pleasantly surprised with the results.

I set myself 4 goals for this race: 1) Don’t die, 2) Finish the race, 3) Finish in under 30 minutes, and 4) Finish in under 25 minutes. I’m pleased to say that I totally nailed the first 3. I managed to finish the run with a time of 27:53 and came in 416 place. That’s better than 799 other people there (in your face, Lale Kustu). Anyway, for the full results go here, or see below

So, did I learn anything? I found out that you tend to run a lot faster in a race than when you’re running on your own. I learned that my knees still hurt. I learned that having the woman who finished after you vomit near you isn’t all that fun at the end of the race. And I learned that I kind of enjoyed it and might do it again, motivation permitting.

Thanks to everyone who pledged me…you’ll be happy to know the money went directly the to the Southwestern Ontario Association of Bartenders and Beer makers. Couldn’t have done it without you!

Lucky day!

Yeah, haven’t been feeling the blog mojo lately, so you get stuck with this little tidbit: I found a unicorn!

Now I can check that off my list…what mythical items are left to find, let’s see: a unicorn, an antwerp, a live gnome, Muk Muk, pixie dust, my dignity, Canada’s national identity, my lost idealism, a purpose, Narnia, a hobbit and a truly socially compassionate Republican.

Photo courtesy of Associated Press