Cross-Canada Shenanigans - Edmonton to Regina

As Edmonton recedes in the rear view mirror of our fully loaded Ford Escape (luggage, not leather and sunroof) I can’t help but smell a whiff of regret.  No…wait…that’s the cat litter from the litterbox at the back of the car.  Never mind.  No regret.

Anyway, the first leg of our cross-country journey is complete.  Greetings from the homicide capital of Canada!  Just a tip…you might not want to stay at the Howard-Johnson’s in Regina.

Thoughts so far:

- I’m pretty sure that the Yellowhead Highway makes the surrounding part of every city it goes through look like a post-apocalyptic nightmare of concrete and big-boxes.  Edmonton, Lloydminster, Saskatoon - none come out looking pretty from the Yellowhead.

- I’m bummed we didn’t stop at the Historic Telephone Museum in Manville, AB.  That is something I’ll have wished I did when I’m on my death bed.

- Our cat stopped meowing somewhere outside of Lloydminster, thank the lord.

- Saskatchewan is kind of boring at night.  I mean, it’s not a thrill a minute in the light, but at least we could see the fields.

What’s next?  Manitoba and beyond!

BONUS GAME:  First person who can tell me where this picture is wins a prize!

Cross-Canada Shenanigans - YEG to YYZ

As some of you know, Ben Co. HQ is relocating to Toronto, ON. Now, I’ve written all sorts of fun things about Edmonton, AB over the past year and a half that we’ve been there, but it is time to move on to bigger and better things.

What does this mean?  Why, another cross-country road trip.  Yep, nothing but me, my wife, our cat, and kilometer upon kilometer of prairie.  So, to share my pain fun, we’re gonna be blogging all across Canada.  Keep your eye out, as we’ll update when wireless access permits!

See you in 3,419 kilometers!

Toronto Transit Maps

I’ve had some time recently to putter around with my various Toronto-related Google maps.  I enjoy Gmaps for a number of reasons, but chiefly because making my own maps allows me to remember cool places to visit that I read about or stumble across.

With my recent move to Toronto, I very quickly learned that the Toronto Transit Commission’s website maps are woefully inadequate.  As a newbie trying to find your way around, your options are either a fast loading map of the subway that gives you little context, or a behemoth PDF of the whole transit system which takes forever to load and re-load each time you move around on it.

But what if I want to know which stop is closest to the bar or restaurant I’m going to?  Outta luck.

Public Service Annoucement #1

Attention all business casual business men. I know its getting warm out there. But for the love of god, if you’re going to undo two (or sometimes one) of your buttons on your shirt, please be wearing some type of undershirt.

1) I don’t want to see your chest hair, and neither does anyone else.

2) I don’t want to be able to ballpark your bra size more easily. Stop, you’re reminding all of us of our grandmother’s cleavage.

3) Buy more breathable fabrics. That 40s ply cotton twill oxford? Put him in the closet for the summer.

4) Anything will do, wife beater, crew neck, I don’t care.

5) Wear a polo instead.

6) Roll up your sleeves.

7) For the love of god, anything. You look like a schmuck, and 99% of people who see you will think the same. Just thank god that you might have a wife at home who hasn’t thrown out your tapered Lee’s, white Asics and woven belt.

Whaaaa?

Finally I have an answer to the age old question, “Where is your keyboard?” I can say with great certainty that I gotchere keyboard right here [insert thrusting motion here].

No word of a lie, pants with a fully functioning, blue tooth enabled keyboard and speakers. Check it out at Engadget here.

I don’t know if this is cool or not (I’m leaning towards the not), but with the propensity I have for either getting beer spilled on my pants or getting caught in the rain, I don’t think I’ll be investing in a pair of these.

I love Family Circuss

Dear Good Sir Benjamin, I must respectfully disagree with your opinion of Family Circus. I find the wit, humor and artistic stylings of Bill Keane to be most enjoyable. Mr. Keane is woven into the fabric of American culture and family values. You don’t hate America, do you?

What would the Sunday Funnies be without Mr. Keane’s work, right next to Alley Oop and Krazy Kat? I’ll tell you what? They wouldn’t be funny.

I hate Family Circus

Just putting it out there. Yes, I’m talking about that annoyingly saccharin, blatantly white bread, annoying-as-hell Family Circus. Even more infuriating is the 1950s values which continue to permeate the strip. Really, an update would be a huge improvement, such as Mom finding birth control pills in Dolly’s pants pocket or catch Billy trying to get Barfy high by hot-boxing in the doghouse.

Most are just bad, though.

I mean, look at the racist undertones in this one:

Or this gem, belittling women who choose not to keep popping out little Jeffys:

Am I totally off base here? Is there anyone out there who actually enjoys this? I’ve never read one of these comics and laughed. In fact, I think Bil Keane is just lazy…he never has to draw a full square, always just that stupid oval. And he doesn’t have to continue a story from one day to the next. Garbage.

I do know there are plenty who hate it, like here and here.

Give me Calvin and Hobbes or The Far Side any day.

Food on a train

So in my new capacity as a regular Toronto Transit Commission user I have had several opportunities to experience new and exciting things whilst riding the subway:  Sticking my crotch in a poor old woman’s face as we are packed in cheek to jowl; Sitting in an overheated metal box with 100 of my closest transit-friends as a “signaling error” is corrected (we’ll be on our way momentarily, honest); or, my personal favourite, having the color of my shirt loudly and repeatedly questioned by a curious bum.