Barackula

This was passed on to me by my friend and current condo-mate.  Just a warning:  the freaking song will get stuck in your head all night.

Check it out here.

And not a bad likeness of a young Barack.

Oatmeal Cream Pie Deathmatch Grand Finale

So, loyal readers will remember that, due to some fantasy sports wrangling, I have been contractually obligated to consume one box of Little Debbie Oatmeal Cream Pies (that’s 12 pies, folks) in one minute.

Since a trip to visit Jimsey was at the top of my list upon my triumphant return to Toronto, this past weekend presented the perfect opportunity to fulfill my obligations.  What follows is the result of my efforts.  Just for the record, it is MUCH harder to eat an oatmeal cream pie than I remember it.

Enjoy!

Obama Winning the Internets

 

According to the Washington Post, Obama has managed to raise $3.35 million over January and February in Internet contributions from supporters.  That is in comparison to $368,112 for Clinton for that same span.

So what’s the secret?  Obama has spent time and money on creating an on-line connection with anyone who comes into contact with his virtual campaign.  Searches are harvested and redirected brilliantly, emails to supporters and other interested parties are relevant and engaging and, perhaps most importantly, the pleas for cash are not as blatant or desperate as the Clinton campaign.

Check out the article for the full scoop.

WWJD?

Yes, just What Would Jimsey Do?

One fine March Saturday morning. I went out for my walk and morning cup of coffee. Now my building has FOB access only. There’s a call box, but it only “calls”, you can’t buzz someone in. As I approached the door to my apartment I saw the following:

A young gentlemen in his Mid-20s was stepping out of the building with a Wall Street Journal. Seems harmless enough, no?

Problem is, he was wearing a T-Shirt, a pair of shorts and a unlaced work boots. Mind you this is still during Winter in Cleveland. With the Wall Street Journal, he used it to prop the door ajar, and he took off running down the street.

Ultimately I was faced with a moral dilemma. He seemed “normal” enough. Was he a tenant? Where were his clothes? Why didn’t he have a key? Where was he running to?

I could have: A) Replaced the paper in the door to let him re-enter or B) Remove the paper and said sorry charlie.

A) Would have seemed the good person thing to do, assuming he had a legitimate reason to be propping the door open. However, living downtown, I’m leary of any strangers getting into my building. Its downtown, there’s sketchy people, and some not-so-stable-looking-roofing-disabled.

B) Would have been the appropriate thing to do if I had serious concerns about my building. Or if I wanted to be a dick. I’d probably open up my window and watch just to laugh at him, maybe throw a few eggs his way.

So I ask, what would have you done?

2008: International Year of the Potato

I totally dropped the ball on this one. Here we are, 3 months into 2008, and I’m just now finding out that it has been the U.N. International Year of the Potato this whole time.

So, to celebrate, I give you a menagerie of Solanum tuberosum related facts and images. Pommes frites!

- The potato is the second most consumed food in the U.S., behind milk.

- There’s a potato research centre in Fredricton, N.B.

- The name “potato” is derived from the Indian word “batata.”

- A potato is around 80% and 20% solid – much like me.

- Mr. Potato Head was invented by George Lerner in 1952.

- This guy made a really big potato gun. And his business is for sale.

In retrospect, this isn’t nearly as amusing as I thought it was. I’m just going to stop. I’m all hopped up on cold medicine, my head weighs a ton (kinda like Mr. Potato Head) and I’d rather go hang out with my condo mate. Bye!

Pouncing Lion, Hurting Woman

Okay…so I keep seeing this video popping up on the Toronto Star’s homepage.  Apparently a martial artist was involved in a photo shoot. As part of this photo shoot it was somehow necessary to make use of…a lion. Long story short, she gets mauled.

Here’s my beef. Animals that are used in advertising and movies are almost always mistreated (CBC’s The Fifth Estate ran a disturbing piece a while back). This is fact. My problem is that the suffering these animals go through isn’t for any “greater good” such as science (which is, of course, debateable). I mean, check out the guy who boots the lion in the head. No, this is so some Jackie Chan wannabee kung fu chicky can promote…what? That she can pose with lions? It’s stupid. No need for animals in this sort of stuff. End of rant.

Besides, who wasn’t really cheering for the lion there? I know I was. I mean, if she is really THAT good at martial arts she should’ve been able to stop the lion. That’s what she gets for flapping her arms like a wounded ostrich around a full grown lion.

Top 10 Things I Hated About Edmonton

Now that I’m safely ensconced in my friends condo in Toronto happily suckling from the teat of urbanism, density and an efficient public transit system, I think I can safely reflect on the 10 things I hated most from my time in Edmonton.

I know, I know…how could I possibly narrow it down to 10?  I’m that good.  So, here it is, the top 10 things I hated about Edmonton.

Top 10 Things I Hated About Edmonton

 1.  Apparent Lack of Any Urban Planning…At All

Now, I know no city is perfect.  All major urban centres have gone through periods of rampant growth which throws any sort of coherent planning out the window, but Edmonton has really done it with style.  At various times during my stay in Edmonton I had asked long time Edmontonians why the city seemed to grow as an amporphous blob, and most times I recieved vauge answers around “the landscape promotes this sort of growth.”

Oh really…the landscape dictates that you build a sea of big box stores on your main entry to your downtown core, or that you allow parking lots and Walmarts to surround apartment complexes without any thought to walkability?  I didn’t realized that those wide open spaces erased any concept of historical preservation, density, or urban planning.   I mean, Edmonton covers 680 some sq. km., larger than Chicago, Phillie, Montreal, or…yes, Toronto.  And the actual City of Edmonton population is around 730,000.  Obnoxious.

Top 10 Things I Liked About Edmonton

That’s right, folks, we are pulling up stakes, loading of the Red River cart and heading back to the bright lights of Toronto.

Yessir, we’ve had enough of this oil loving, profit at all costs province and decided to make our fortunes in a less heady economic environment.

“But Ben,” you say, “surely there must be something you liked during your stay in the Wild Rose province?”  And you’re right…so here’s my top 10 things I liked about my time in Edmonton and Alberta.  While these are kind of in order of preference, they’re not really.

 Top 10 Things I Liked About Edmonton

1.  William Eddins

The conductor of the Edmonton Symphony Orchestra is a transplant from Minneapolis, so he gets bonus points right there.  He had a terrific way of connecting with the audience and creating a relaxed atmosphere.  Plus, the exuberance with which he conducted was contagious and you couldn’t help but be engaged – and he gets major bonus points for the “bum wiggling” incident.