Puddles

Some of you may have noticed a lack of activity on Ben Co. recently. It is with great sadness that I have to inform you of the loss of one our truly great minds behind Ben Co., Puddles.

Born on the rough and tumble streets of Ruthven, ON, Puddles’ early kitten years were marked with drug use, cat gangs and “fluffing”. One day while harassing mice at the local Heinz factory, the Woodfern Street Scratchers Gang was ambushed by the rival Queensmen MC chapter in a brutal and bloody battle for dominance of the tomato exporting racket.

One local super citizen, “GE” witnessed the atrocity and whisked in to rescue Puddles and nurse her back to health. Soon Puddles was on the road to recovery in a caring household. It was a lavish lifestyle filled with milk, catnip and tender love. Aside from the great Cat Condo Fire of 2003 and the Aries Rebellion of 2007, no cat lived a better, more fulfilling life than Puddles.

Puddles is survived by her two owners and step-brother Aries.

We’ll miss you puds.

Spring Is Afoot

Okay, As I write this I realize its 19F in Cleveland, but Baseball Spring training is underway! Pitchers and Catchers have reported, full team practices have started, and old people bemoan tourists in their happy little retirement communities.

With baseball underway, I’m excited to be a stone’s throw from the stadium, stroll about with my camera, pull the flip-flops out of storage, and most importantly enjoy my city without the aid of gloves, down parkas and crotch warmers.

So as I get excited for the trees to bloom and the baseballs to start flying I’m diving back into my photo archives from 2007 for a little buffet of baseball, sunny days and that ever elusive color, green.

“Vagina” inappropriate - try “cooter”

 

A L.A.  high school newspaper sparked “controversy” when they published their Valentine’s day edition (or a more corporate version here) under the title “Happy Vagina Day” and included a drawing of a vagina taken from an anatomy book.

The editor-in-chief of the paper, Richard Edmond, claimed he was “trying to raise awareness of violence against women with a lead story about playwright Eve Ensler’s ‘Vagina Monologues.’ “

The school’s administration has deemed the word “obscene.” This is an accreditation year for the school, which is why such a commotion is not surprising.

So, let me make sure I get this right.  According to the school administration, the word “vagina” is obscene.  So logically, “penis,” “breasts,” “labia,” and “testicles” would all be banned words, as well.

I guess the alternative will be that every anatomy course in L.A. schools will have to use “cooter,” “kootch,” “meat curtains” or “swimsuit area” in place of “vagina” and “wee wee,” “pee pee,” “one-eyed trouser snake” or “St. Ignace the Dragon Slayer” in place of “penis.”

Maybe the administration would find this site useful.

Yeah, because what high school kids really need is more confusion around sexual reproduction as they go through puberty and another means to stigmatize and repress sexuality in women.  Brilliant.

Stuff white people like

When I first came across this blog I thought it was serious.  And like any good satire it took a while to figure it out.

I’m especially fond of the posts on recycling and expensive sandwiches.

It’s funny cause it’s true.

Sometimes it better not to even try, Hillary…

So most of you already saw the Obama video, “Yes, We Can.”

A friend just tipped me off to Hillary’s attempt to counter: Hillary4UandMe

I think viewing them back to back says a lot of the demographic that each candidate is attracting. 

Chances are someone over 40 won’t know most of the people in the Obama video. 

And chances are most people under 50 will wonder why those “dancers” in the Clinton video look like they have lost all control over their muscles and are flailing about wildly.

If this is Hillary’s attempt to appear hip, she might of missed the mark.  Although the thinly veiled rip off of the Jackson 5’s “abc” is nice.  And that flautist totally rocks.

Seriously, though, I’m not saying you can’t manufacture these sort of supporter videos.  I’m just saying that it should at least appear that some passion went in to it from someone other than a direct Hillary for Prez campaigner.

And, in the end, it’s just a terrible, terrible song.

As a friend said in reference to the theme of the Hillary video: “But I’m black on the inside!”

Strange news afoot

From today’s Edmonton Journal:

Police scratch heads over feet washing up in Gulf Islands 

‘It is unusual,’ says RCMP spokeswoman

Three severed feet have washed ashore on B.C.’s Gulf Islands in the past six months — all right feet, all in sneakers — in an increasingly bizarre mystery for police.

The latest foot was found Friday on Valdes Island, a small community between Vancouver Island and the mainland.

RCMP say they’re not sure if foul play is involved and are trying to match any missing-person cases to the severed extremity. Two other right feet, both in size 12 men’s sneakers, washed ashore on nearby Gabriola and Jedidiah islands last August.

RCMP collected DNA from the grisly remains but could not match them to anyone in police databases

It is unusual,” said RCMP spokeswoman Const. Annie Linteau. “We are in the preliminary stages of this particular investigation, and of course we will not enter into speculation.”

The Vancouver Island Major Crime Unit has sent detectives to investigate the cases, she said.

The latest foot has been turned over to the B.C. Coroners Service for forensic testing.
—————-
I think good old fashioned leg work will solve this, with police combing the island inch by inch…foot by foot.

Groan.

I’ve been taking more salt water baths

 

Nature is great.

So here’s the deal,  in order to reproduce in a tough environment, barnacles (yargh!) “have evolved the longest penises of any creature for their size — up to eight times their body length — to seek out and have sex with their neighbors.”

However, not all is sunshine and puppies: “..large penises can be a problem, what with waves crashing down on the surfaces where these crustaceans often dwell.  A too-long penis could flop around uselessly in such turbulence, drastically cutting down a barnacle’s chances for procreation.” 

Ouch.

(Image: Christopher Neufeld)

As Ian Malcom tells us, “I’m simply saying that life, uh… finds a way. “

Tickle the monkey

First off, I’m very excited that Cartoon Network is bringing Mr. Men to the little screen.  Yes, those cutesy little characters we all knew from elementary school will now be walking and talking.

I’m only excited about this because I’m a proud owner of a Mr. Bump shirt.  And I’m a proud owner because when I laugh, it makes Mr. Bump dance on my belly.  You get the idea.  And of course Mr. Bump is my on-line representation.

Anyway, in checking out the new Mr. Men website, I game across this game for our good friend Mr. Tickle. 

To get to it go here, click on Mr. Tickle (bottom row, left side), then click on “Game.”  (BTW, I hate how all this new flash stuff doesn’t have direct links)

Anyway, the object of the Mr. Tickle game is to…yes…tickle the monkey.  You have to tickle the monkey so much that he, cough, explodes.  Okay, really, I don’t make this stuff up.

Where are all those conservative Senators now?  Forget Tinky Winky, this is downright criminal!

So, in the words of Mr. Tickle, “I know a monkey who needs a tickle.”